Guest Post: Mrs. in Making

Ladies! (and guys who are interested) what was going through your minds as you entered into medical college on your first day?

Was your heart bursting with compassion and drive to change the health care situation of those millions and millions of Pakistanis out there without adequate health care? Does it not go out to those poor souls waiting and languishing on the steps of an empty facility, awaiting the arrival of a doctor non-existent, only to receive some quack whose idea of a cure for every disease is an injection to the leg?

Or leaving aside your charitable hopes, were you dreaming of a fulfilling and enriching college experience that includes availing the several late night call packages the progressive mobile companies of this nation offer; networking with senior students who will provide you with much needed guidance and notes/books/gossip; and of course, plenty of opportunities to interact purposefully with the opposite sex.

It is no secret that college is the profligate breeding ground for matrimonial aspirations, and a medical college such as yours is no exception. But here are several reasons why the (un)fortunate fellow you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, should be the last thing on your mind.

– How in the world will you fulfill your desires to become that very neurosurgeon/orthopedic/ heart specialist you always wanted to be if your head is filled with designs for your wedding dress? You might as well save yourself from the destiny of a Mrs. Gynecologist (not that this country doesn’t need more female gynecologists, but we need other female specialists too) and concentrate on your career.

– Boys are trash and nor worth the importance you give them. Plus they gossip more about your new dress and shoes than all your dorm-mates combined. Do you really want to know what he thinks about the length of your kamiz or your new haircut? You might as well ask your most beloved (the most annoying, two-faced and loud) Aunty. Besides, they don’t care.

– You’re going to get married anyway.

–  Do you really want to spend your life with someone who has been in the suffocating classrooms, torturous exams and had the same insufferable teachers? In short, the same life experiences as yours? Besides, imaging the conditions in the male hostels, do you really want a creature from there in your house?

Need I go on? And for those ladies offended by my assumptions that none of you are serious about your studies, don’t waste your energy telling me that. Take it as advice to heed just in case. And you could probably enlighten us all of the more noble reasons of coming to med school.

And those gentlemen (if you were one, you wouldn’t be reading this article in the first place, by the way) who think I just wrote this to deplore your kind and diminish any chance of you getting a female companion to pass time with during your college life, you’re probably right.


16 thoughts on “Guest Post: Mrs. in Making

  1. DAMN..!!
    I lost my “gentlemanliness” by reading this article….:P

    Anyway, thumbs up…good job..!!

  2. a great effort bt not upto the mark i think he or she whoever didnt do the justice in order to give a lesson to only less than 5% ppl the writer badly hurts the feelings of the remaining 95% nd the same is true here that
    so i m not gonna saying that u have a done an unjust effort bt only an advice to OBSERVE thouroughly nd try to write something nd its just a suggestion if u dont MIND.

  3. u knw its nt her fault that this article is about “poonds” like you “addicted”(probably crack, do tell me where you get it from i might have some customers for you)

  4. poond is a shortened form of a word which i wont mention so u can keep ur “respect” but just to clear it out it means something related to guys who check out girls

  5. hats off for the PMC BOMB. you’r just what we needed. Poonds maintain a healthy and productive environment in college 😀

  6. Finally a voice of sanity in our shaadi obsessed society ! But despite your best intentions you seemed to be struggling in proving your stance. Apart from ‘ you’re going to get married anyway’ no other reason made much sense to me. University students shouldn’t be interested in spouse-hunting is a fact most people agree to but offer errr-umm when asked why not ; its a fact whose wisdom seemed to be have been swept away by the harmonal-rush.

    Let me narrate a personal experience I’m sure most of you can relate to.I felt lost when I stepped into the medical college !Then a passerby guided me to the dissection Hall… Err… no seriously I felt lost ! I always wanted to get in but that’s pretty much all what I wanted. The two-year of frantic struggle didn’t allow the luxury of ruminating why I wanted it in the first place. Yes it was a noble job ; yes my parents wanted that ; yes the profession guranteed a social status ( a fact I’m no longer sure of ! ) ; yes that’s what everybody was rushing for. But these were all external loci of motivation. Somehow I’ve failed to establish internal/personalized/or as ( pmc-watch would say ) idiosyncratic locus of motivation to keep me going when studies seem too overwhelming.

    Making long story short , this experience with medical college made me believe that same phenomenon must hold true for marriages. Both have a lot of things in common. Marriage, too,is noble, wished for by parents , has a social status and everybody rushes for it ! But then again , I dare say nobody has an internal motive to enter this institution .Think of all the added- responsibility , all the freedom lost , all the distasteful family-diplomacies and do you still feel like rushing to juggle with all the extra-baggage ?

    What did I hear ? Oh yes ! the two golden reasons for getting into a relationship|
    1.Carnal pleasures ( I won’t discuss this one lest my comment be blocked by the admin )
    2. I want a special friend with whom I can share my life ! Now this I can discuss to my heart’s content.Its a rationale expressed by candidates of Rishta Online , with smiles so goofy , so sheepish that you want feel like groaning FFffFFffFFff like the troll-comics rampant on F.B these days ! Ask yourself two questions :

    1.How much sharing do you see happening between your parents and other couples around you ? I bet , you’re answer’s not much ! What makes you think you’ll be able to continue the close-sharing with your spouse far beyond the first few years ?! Sheer optimism ? Haha! Good luck !

    2. How comfortable do you feel while sharing your life with your sibling or friends ? If you’re longing for closeness , that shows you lack it in your currant relationships. And if you lack it in your currant relationships, logic dictates you’ll lack it that special relationship too ! That’s because we tend to live out of our past.So our future relationships will not dramatically exceed in fulfilling our yearning for intimacy than our currant ones. If so many people have failed to turn you into a good communicator , what magic could one person do ? People with rosy glasses on , please spare us of your deceiving optimism.

    Why so many youngsters crave for a partner when they have friends and siblings around ? I think we mis attribute our unsatisfaction with ourselves to the lack of an espeshaal phraand. ( and when you get that espeshaaal phraand, “you mistake the joy , induced by self-acceptance, for love” ,said Miss Roy In God Of Small Things ). So , it appears that youngsters tend to think of shaadi as one-pill-for-all-ailments that afflicts them now. If only they would take off the rosy-glasses and dare to look at things realistically.

    Hazrat Umer (R.A ) said : The joy of marriage lasts 3 months and its misery a lifetime !

    I conclude by saying that marriage is a sunnat that must be followed. But it will bring a huge difference to the youngster’s desperate attitude to it if they watch it in terms of what it really is than simply that which they’ve been brainwashed to think by Holly/Bolly/Lollywoods.

    This may be a slightly incoherent and highly idiosyncratic opinion but the ghost of love/bfs/gfs has run so rampant that it has begun to afflict the saner minds too. I appreciate the authoress for raising the issue and I hope the admins will highlight my voice too via fb/twitter etc


    • You are entitled to your opinion regarding marriage, but the aim of my article was not to enunciate mine. It had nothing to do with what I think of marriage as an institution, or even its desirability, for whatever reasons. I was merely commenting on how it’s made a priority, amongst young people, and as you have pointed, by parents and society. Leaving aside the supposed benefits of companionship derived from marriage (the need for which apparently exists because our other relationships are not so fulfilling [?]), I think that young people, at a vulnerable age like ours, should be concentrating on their intellectual growth instead of stagnating it by focusing on a dead-end journey like finding ‘the one’ and living happily ever after blah blah

      This is not to say that one should never get married. However, the quest for companionship should not come at the expense of every other thing.

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