Kick Ass M.B.B.S. !



Altruism; chivalry; women. In many ways these are the three essential components of what truly makes one a Kick-Ass.  In fact, these are the three principles by which he abides.  I am quite justified in using this term; Kick-Ass, especially because we have a very befitting pop culture reference:  Kick-Ass the Movie.  The movie is about a kid who gets obsessed with becoming a real life super hero, who goes around doing good things, and also finds it an excellent way of winning over the girl he likes.


We however are not discussing the movie.  It has been mentioned to give some necessary background on this term “Kick-Ass”, as the three principles mentioned above can be observed in this movie.  It holds some useful cues for an aspiring PMC Kick-Ass, who more likely than not, had a very suppressive teenage.   No quick judgments should be made, as this is not a complete tragedy.  We are after all going to discuss how a PMC Kick-Ass unravels:  The story of a true hero in making.


In order to do this, I will have to contextualize the abovementioned three principles into PMC’s environment and realities, and how these reflect in a PMC Kick-Ass.  So, bear with me as this is nothing short of celebration of a crucial aspect of PMC’s lifestyle.



Altruism technically means giving to others, being charitable, and caring for others, and so on.  The question is, how is Altruism embodied by a PMC Kick-Ass?  Surely it can’t be donating blood, and other clichéd manners of ‘caring for others’.  A true PMC Kick-Ass always has an excuse; from life threatening health condition to wrong blood group.  As an uninitiated new comer, he must first learn to appreciate what Altruism really is, for this he turns to the ‘sages’ often referred to as ‘seniors’.  Remember, he is already a PMC Kick-Ass in spirit.


The very first lesson he learns is, “puttar spending on yourself is the greatest act of charity in PMC”. Hence he acquires the key to being altruistic.  The process of extreme makeover begins.  Out goes the checkered   formal looking shirt that he once buttoned up to the collar, with great pride, suddenly tight t-shirts and fake polos are in.  Branded jeans, a sure eye-catcher, and of course, china made pair of converse.   The first step to completion of his manhood has been covered.


Now he busies himself with spreading his altruistic spirit by giving much needed fashion advice to other aspiring PMC Kick-Asses.  Soon, he gathers and establishes PMC’s very own, and abused version of Backstreet Boys (I say abused, because there’s a history of precedents).  On a thoughtful second note, I should probably scratch the reference to Backstreet Boys, what I really meant was macho, testosterone laden Kick-Asses.




Chivalry means having valor, generosity, gentleman ship.  So, it is not terribly hard to mistake the Kick-Asses as knights in shining armour.  This alliance of evil fighters goes out into the corridors of PMC everyday to scout ‘possible threats’.  Their primary aim is to save the innocent and unsuspecting girls from the ‘marauding’ theethas, who aren’t “JUST” discussing viva questions, or exchanging notes, or suddenly showing up in the same societies, or running for sports rep.  There’s a more ‘sinister’ reason.


A PMC Kick-Ass, after all those facials and threading routines, not to mention the military like regimen he has to get used to, in order to look like a cheap rip-off of MTV Roadies, has a greater right to such reasons.  Or so he sincerely believes.  Only he should hit the jackpot.  He’s the man, no…the superman!



Naturally, many would ask the question: why be altruistic?  Why be chivalrous?  Why ‘save’ the ‘unsuspecting’ girls?  The answer, which is biologically and psychologically sound, is: because they are GIRLS!  This one is a no-brainer.


After years of being walked over, of the survival of the fittest going awry, girls are quite literally ‘the forbidden fruit’.  Being disadvantaged is a great motivator!


So, “women” (ladies, take no offence; ‘women’ is being used a suitable synonym for ‘girls’, there’s nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side) is the last and most important principle and component of a Kick-Ass’s existence.  First two principles are a corollary to it.


In not so far past, when he wasn’t a Kick-Ass, the PMC Kick-Ass’s expertise in this field included:


Ogling girls sheepishly, hiding behind pillars and doors.  All the while pretending to fix his thick prescription glasses.

Reading depressing poetry.

And, of course being in touch with ‘modern ways’, like those ‘love meters’ on such educational outlets as Aag TV.  He loved (still does) utilizing such digital means of finding the perfect other to message late into night with.  After all what are the ‘youth packages’ for?  A 70% on the ‘love meter’ would turn out to be so incredibly exhilarating that he would go to sleep with head held high, like a warrior who had won a most prized trophy.  The only problem is, he imagined his name on the ‘love meter.  He was too clever to spend any money.

Today, the PMC Kick-Ass stands a real chance, or, at least he thinks.  And, he is always looking for motivation.  What really boosts his morale is the fact that the girls he wishes to court (or has been successful courting) aren’t exactly ‘houris’ either.  This in itself increases his chances exponentially.


Now, all of this may sound a little bizarre and even disturbing to a non-PMCian.  He or she may ask: why go through all this trouble?  What could possibly create a desire in a person to become a Kick-Ass?  What are the possible social and psychological causes?


To my untrained mind, these sound like intellectual and philosophical questions.  Attempting to answer these is likely to bore me, the PMC Kick-Asses, and rest of the PMCians.  So, I’m going to leave these unanswered.


As for the outcome of such endeavours, it isn’t always as a PMC Kick-Ass expects.  The success rate is quite abysmal.  Only the most skilful ones actualize their ‘goals’, most others have to settle for ‘less’.  It’s ruthless competition.  Many PMC Kick-Asses may have withdrawal symptoms that feel like Spiderman in his real life, except that this is their only ‘real’ life.


However, there IS a silver lining.  After having spent five years with much philogynist vigor, a Kick-Ass is not simply Kick-Ass, he is now the PMC Kick-Ass M.B.B.S. Here, his story turns a new page.  What happens next does not concern us, but the legacy of PMC Kick-Ass lives on.





The ordeal for most begins one sweltering afternoon sometime in summer.  The realization takes place in passing.  It couldn’t in any other way because of the inevitability.  Deep inside we all know that it’s bound to happen, even if we are wont.  So, one day while pushing through the drudgery of theories, diseases and actual work, one goes, “Oh man PROF!!”.

Work it is, to everyone.  But how is it an ‘ordeal’ may not be discernible to quite a few.  Those with a ‘fool proof’ life plan.  How it all began for them requires wandering down the uncharted memory lanes of the ‘dedicated’.  However, every ‘way’ has its perils, and with PROF come great perils.

That PROF is an instigator of such ‘perils’ is only partly true.  The PROF season does, however, provide an important microcosmic insight into how a certain stratum of our society thinks and operates.  Here I’m considering the middle class, who make up the bulk of the educated and the ‘being educated’.  How the way they perceive education and how it affects what they do in future, most certainly does not take place in a ‘void’.  The rat race to success in PROF mirrors much of what takes place after one finishes his or her studies.

Politics of PROF

So what are these perils that I speak of?  Most certainly studying much of day light and night hours to the extent that you lose sense of time, but still relying on ‘chance’ to make a difference between great success and mere success, or success and failure, is a perilous situation to be in.  This is exactly the mental cacophony that has to be dealt by someone studying for PROF.

The social background of the individual also makes the situation ‘perilous’, or at least I would like to think.  Middle class, the educated middle class, lives in a world, in a bubble, which is the height of mediocrity.  The life has a set path.  You are born, you go to school, you go to college, you become a doctor/engineer/civil servant, and you make money, get married, make babies, and perpetuate the cycle.  Over and over again.  Such a life style should raise questions, and it does.  However, I intend to discuss only what’s relevant to the issue at hand.

What piques my intuition is, what exactly MOTIVATES people who choose to remain and continue to remain in such a lifestyle?  The answer is intricately wound in the way our society, culture, and social conscious operate.  We have to remember that education is one of the factors that create ‘social mobility’, and still being traditionally agricultural society, a large part if not most of the middle class, comes from a rural underclass background.  The realities of life, the tug of war over land, possessions, high status of a village noble, translate into an urban struggle.  The same mentality is at work, even if one moved on from ‘the village’ generations ago, it is deeply ingrained in the psyche.

In the dullness of middle class life, competition is ‘created’, along the lines of money, land, possessions, connections, social status, caste, and even color (the whole ‘fair and lovely’ complex).  Since we aren’t exactly a meritocratic society, corruption helps immensely as well.

This ‘competition’ is particularly profound when it comes to ‘doctors’, because of the notion that exists and persists among us that it is a noble profession.  Noble here means status and money.  Hence parents work hard, and so does the ‘educational system’, to produce these trophy children, who know only, and think only to achieve that would ensure and perpetuate their status quo.  It is strange the profundity with which this urbanized village mentality persists, almost like a religious obsession.  Even though, doctors are barely respected anymore, nor does such a profession ensures monetary safety.

Hence, for these trophies to shine, they must compete.  Compete for space, compete for position, and compete for status.  I doubt most realize they are guinea pigs to the system, regardless of how well off they are likely to be after acquiring the M.B.B.S.  Before someone gets pragmatic about this (maybe not so obvious) ‘peril’ and says, “well isn’t that the point? To study for PROF and MBBS?”  No it ISN’T.  If it were about knowledge, and imparting knowledge, more people would become teachers or go into research, which obviously is NOT the case!  It’s about the lustrous trophies.

This is PROF, the politics of PROF.  It is not a mere ‘examination’.


Regardless of what PROF represents, we all have an inkling of need for PROF, whether big or small.  PROF is not without its advantages.   An obvious one is ‘success’ which is a great motivator for everyone, regardless of the underlying driving factors.  We all want to taste success, because it provides satisfaction, which in turn helps us to survive and continue.  I am petrified, just like anyone else, even at the thought of a “suppli”, because this would lead to LACK of satisfaction among other things, and that would just make it harder to even bare the look of medical books.  I hate to use clichés, but PROF either makes you or breaks you, notwithstanding your philosophy on life.

All in all, I do not wish to turn this article into a piece of unauthoritative psychoanalytical babble, not more than it already is! 😛

So, the question is; is this deeply felt expression of woes with PROF meant to help ease the pain?  Maybe, provide some release?  No, not really.  One would be hard pressed to find a ‘remedy’ for something that is needed to provide remedies for countless other pains.  But, try ingesting Prozac.