After going through the circuit these last few years, once, then twice, and now thrice, I’ve come to a realization that this year it is different. ‘PROF’ is no longer an obstacle that one can maneuver around, over, and, under: the beauty of grace marks, internal assessment, cheating or sheer luck (not to mention, studying your backside off), is still viable but lackluster. PROF has emerged formidable, and challenges you.
Now, before I say anything, I don’t intend to generalize. I don’t intend to confuse or eve misrepresent a very large and respectable cross-section of student population known as ‘theethas’. I belong to that stratum which natural selection hasn’t exactly favored. We tend to lack the dedication, ambition (and rote learning tools in some cases) to excel. People like us aren’t great and don’t do great things. We work (study) to survive.
Now, from the obvious change this year includes; work load! It has increased and the amount of material that has had to be covered, and will keep increasing in future. Along with it so will responsibilities, and a need to adapt and overcome various tiresome and phobic frights such as interacting with people, touching patients…obeying orders…and the list goes on.
One thing that I have come to recognize and appreciate is going through past papers. It really is convenient and helpful, as questions tend to repeat. Yet, I only managed to do a few for just one subject. Not very conscientious, I suppose.
A feeling that has started increasing in its urgency and pressure on my moral compass is that MBBS is not only about intellect and skills and saving lives, it is also a rat race. A vicious one at that, with people clamouring to be at the top or at the front. Once someone gets there, skills do play a crucial role. But it’s the whole package, including right way to show obeisance, to form alliances, the ability to suck up – the petty politics – always looming overhead. An undignified life for someone sensitive about self-respect.
Another important factor, perhaps most of us, including me, overlook is our deeds! Without elaborating or trying to preach, I think the following incident will suffice:
Imam Ash-Shafi`i said: “I complained to Wakee` about the weakness of my memory, so he ordered me to abandon disobedience (sin) and informed me that knowledge is light. He said that the light of Allah is not given to the disobedient.”
These abovementioned thoughts revolved in my mind quite vividly, that one fateful exam (won’t name the subject), like frames of a motion picture reeling in front of my eyes. As I sat there doleful and resigned, I resolved myself into consolation, come what may – maybe even a “suppli” (God, I hope not) – I’ve tried and still got to keep doing it, a milestone has not been achieved as of yet…
Ibtidaa-e-Ishq hai Rota hai Kya
Aagay Aagay Dekhiye hota hai Kya